So many people I follow are upset, disappointed, disheartened... all kinds of negative emotions about our choice to leave.
I woke my parents up at 7am this morning, my mouth dropping at the corners as I let them know "we've voted to leave." Feeling as disappointed as I was, my Mum sat with me as she was getting ready for work so we could watch everything unfold on the TV.
"Let me know what David Cameron says," she called as she walked out of the door.
Less than 15 minutes later I sent a text to let her know he had announced his resignation.
And then it was a text to say Scotland are looking to hold an independence referendum.
And then it was to say Northern Ireland are calling for something similar.
All day the news has been relentless. I can refresh my social media pages as often as I want, there will always be something new filling up the feed. As disappointed as I was feeling, I couldn't (and can't) help but marvel at just how many people are talking about it all.
Enough that the usual complainers came out to play, with an "it's done now, can we shut up and move on?" attitude - as if everyone else will go "Oh you're right! It doesn't matter that this will have a direct effect on my own and my family's life, it's done and dusted, I should shut up so I'm not annoying anyone!"
You're allowed to feel fucking miserable that this vote didn't go the way you wanted it to. You're allowed to feel scared, to feel frustrated, to want to scream at that 51.9% on the TV. This was a monumental decision and it will have far-reaching effects on everything for us for a long time. Nobody gets to tell you to not care about it.
Thinking this, when I saw an article titled "If you're young and angry about the EU referendum, you're right to be" on the Guardian website, I was compelled to click and read. My generation was 75% remain. I've seen too many tweets to count from 18-25 year old's, angry that our future has been decided by people who will experience less of it than we will. I know the older generations have every right to vote whatever they want - but I'm still allowed to be angry that it is my future it has affected.
The article is worth a read but it was the last two paragraphs that made me catch my breath:
"If you are young, and especially if you voted, I hope that the outcome of this referendum doesn’t put you off voting again. Yes, as a demographic, we have lost, but at the same time we have made a powerful statement about the kind of country we want to live in. That we are to be deprived of it is a crying shame, but at least we know that we are part of a collective of people who want a better world.
Don’t let that feeling dissipate; mobilise, organise, strategise, and above all hope. Take heart in the fact that you’re more than likely part of this optimistic, open-minded gang, that there is a potential there simmering beneath the surface. By all means feel bitter, and miserable, and worried about what is going to happen next, but after that, please take heart: you are the 75%, and what you voted for was noble, and one day will be again."
Writing this, my voice is now one among many. But I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't feel lost in a sea of disappointed voters.
I feel like for the first time since I turned 18, my generation is engaged in the politics of our country. I barely thought about it before I could vote, and even then it was more going about the motions of it all. I voted because I knew how lucky I was to be able to be in a country that allows us to have a voice, but I didn't know what I wanted that voice to say.
Now I do.
I am not just upset, I am angry. Angry that one of the driving forces of this referendum was racism. Angry that our country is divided - and will be even more divided should these independent referendums take place. I'm angry that this debate, and the campaigns for both sides, have been focused on scaremongering and lies.
I'm disappointed that the vote didn't go the way I wanted it to, sure. I'm upset that this may mean the end of many privileges granted to us through our EU membership.
It is an utterly bizarre thought to me that should I one day have children, they will not be EU citizens.
What I'm hoping for now is that this isn't as terrible as it has felt today. I really do want Britain to be "great" again but I do not think that greatness lies the way it's being said it does. I don't think greatness comes from isolation, from fear, or from hatred.
I think greatness comes from where it has always come from: love, respect, and compassion.
We are the 75%. What we voted for was noble, and one day it will be again.
And it will be us that makes sure of it.
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